Enjoyment
Enjoy spending time with your family!
We’ve heard people say, “Time flies” or “Children grow up so fast.” It does and they do. While sometimes inconvenient and stressful, spending unprecedented amounts of time at home can also mean more time to enjoy being together as a family.
In this section, we’ll outline a few ways to enjoy spending time together without a lot of planning, prep work, or special materials.
Connect with your children by loving the things they love
With so much time at home, this is a wonderful opportunity to bond with children by getting to know what they really like (and dislike). Express interest in their interests by joining in on activities, asking questions, and letting your child direct the flow of play and conversation.
Have authentic conversations with your children - Let these moments unfold as they happen naturally. (Visit Brain-building for more on using conversations to build relationships and promote early learning.)
Play games or watch shows that children love - Learn the names of their favorite toys or cartoon characters. Ask why they like certain characters and dislike others, or what they like about the game you’re playing.
Be creative with children - Engage in dramatic play (e.g., pretend play or dress-up) and art activities. (For more on this, visit Let children play under Brain-building!)
Spend quality time together
We think of “quality time” as time when adults and children are focused on each other and/or a shared activity. Though we may be spending a lot more time than usual at home together right now, it’s still important to set aside time to give one another this special kind of undivided attention.
Make sure there are times during the day when everyone unplugs from work, school, and other responsibilities. This can last as long (or as short) as time allows and can be built into regular daily routines, such as sharing a meal together, reading a story before bed, or playing a game.
Enjoy technology while limiting idle screen time. Be kind to yourself if you slide every now and then. Especially now, in this time of physical distancing, we may be using technology more than usual as a way to enjoy face-to-face time with friends and family who we cannot see in person or to support distance learning.
Be as active and playful as possible
Really play with children. If you can be outdoors, run around with your children. When indoors, join in on their games and activities.
A wonderful way to support young children’s learning is by playing alongside them. Letting your child take the lead in child-directed play is also a great way to build strong relationships, support language skills, and build confidence (2).
Speak animatedly with your child. Be silly, laugh, do voices or sound effects. Use your words, body language, and tone of voice as part of the fun!
Learn something new together
With so many free resources online, learning new things together is relatively easy, fun, and boosts healthy brain development!
It can be a fun shared experience to learn something new with your child. Though taking in-person classes isn’t an option right now, there are a plethora of online resources to help you get started. Here are a few of our favorites:
Tai Chi lessons, such as these free videos from Aiping Tai Chi. There is some evidence that Tai Chi is associated with improved mental well-being by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression, and increasing self-esteem (3).
A new recipe (or add new ingredients to old recipes). Allow children to contribute their ideas and then cook or bake the dish together. Enjoy the fruits of your labor at the end of the project.
Art projects. You can invent your own or find ideas online. You might even check out educational art resources for young children, like The Kennedy Center’s LUNCH DOODLES with Mo Willems!
Focus on children’s positive behaviors and provide lots of positive reinforcement
Praise children when they do things well, follow the rules, and listen to directions. This praise should be specific—the more specific you can be, the more information you are giving children about the rules and expectations.
Use specific and positive feedback when children follow a rule, do something kind, play on their own so you can work, help out, follow directions...In other words, praise children by letting them know exactly what they are doing well! For example,
“Aiyanna you are sharing your crayons so nicely with Ben! And Ben, you’re waiting so patiently for Aiyanna to finish with the blue crayon. You are both making some very colorful houses by working as a team.”
“Thank you for putting on your shoes the first time I asked. High five!”
“Wow, you cleaned up all of your toys so fast!”
When we provide lots of negative feedback, this creates a negative narrative for our child (“I’m a bad kid. I do everything wrong”). Positive feedback, on the other hand, shines a light on what children are doing well, making them feel good about these actions, and encouraging repetition in the future.
Having a positive outlook is also an important protective factor especially in stressful situations (1). Therefore, making a deliberate effort to notice what children do well is not only good for them, but for us as well.
Stay Regulated
Just as young children are learning to calm down when they are upset, we must exercise these skills as adults. Strategies like taking a few deep breaths can help us regain our calm.
Children watch how we manage big feelings and learn from us—in other words, how we respond in tough situations is a form of modeling for our children. Even if you feel really upset inside, it’s important to take a moment to regulate your own reaction before attempting to problem-solve with children, so that your affect isn’t frightening and doesn’t inadvertently exacerbate an already tense situation. This is especially important in times like these, when many of us are experiencing unusually high stress.
Here are a few of our favorite self-regulation strategies for adults:
Take a few deep breaths.
Start with empathy—for yourself and your child. By taking a moment to attend to your child’s emotional needs, you are also giving yourself a chance to acknowledge and calm your own emotions.
Take a few quiet moments. Let your child know that you are going to take a few minutes to calm down—in addition to helping your child understand what you’re doing, it’s a wonderful opportunity to model a positive self-regulation strategy. (Note that this strategy may not work well with very young children and those who need more help re-regulating, especially if they are also upset or exhibiting challenging behaviors. In these situations, start with empathy and give yourself a chance to breathe and relax with your child before addressing the behavior.)
Visit our Resources page for additional information on managing stress.
References
1. Brydon, L., Walker, C., Wawrzyniak, A. J., Chart, H., & Steptoe, A. (2009). Dispositional optimism and stress-induced changes in immunity and negative mood. Brain, behavior, and immunity, 23(6), 810-816.
2. Seattle Children’s. (no date). Child development and parenting: Child-directed play.
3. Wang, C., Bannuru, R., Ramel, J., Scott, T., & Schmid, C.H. (2010). Tai Chi on psychological well-being: systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Complement Complementary and Alternative Medicine, 10(23).